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I feel exactly like you although I am not brave enough to post or talk about my feelings in fact there are only a couple of people who do know, one is my husband and the other is like a sister to me. I can relate to most of what you are saying especially as I've had over 25 operations in the last few years and 2 of these have been in the last month and I'm being admitted again tomorrow. Jack, I am so sorry to hear what you have and are still going through. You don't have to do it on your own and I'm not surprised you are feeling down, you need to get some support and not let this misfortune drag you down. You do not need to do this on your own, you may be feeling that you have to get through this on your own because your a bloke, forget that there are always people out there who know how dispiriting this kind of thing can be and you will be find that counsellors and chaplains encounter people feeling like you do all the time, you just have to grit your teeth and keep on talking until you find the right person to help you through what must be feeling like the worst time ever. I think the first thing you need to do is confide to the nursing staff or doctor that you need someone to talk to confidentially, with some luck they may have a counselling service or at least a chaplain. Terrible, terribly difficult and I'm sure you are feeling very low and I'm sure going through all of this on your own is even worse, I'm not very good at the support stuff but my one suggestion would be that you need someone to whom you can talk openly to. The black cloud of suicidal thoughts still looms over me. I have just had so much disfortune with my physical and now mental health.
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I am just glad that i have no children or a wife that depend on me, and also that the áussie benefits has been there to pay my rent.Īustralia is a great country and has been on the whole good to me. Ive put on weight through inability to train and turning to alcohol for solace. I drive a rusty car and women look at me like im a loser. I havnt worked since that day of the 1st op. The past 18 months of this bullshit has left me confused, financially ruined, mentally broken and badly depessed. I am laying in a hospital bed in agony with a cathita waiting for an mri and most probably another operation.
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#SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR SUPERCOW FULL#
While i was in the hospital an aboriginal stole 700 dollars from my wallet ( i sold my guitar the day before) while i was asleep in my hospital bed.Ĥ months later i am back in hospital with a bladder full of piss but i cannot for the life of me wee because yes you guessed it i have anothrr herniation pushing on my nerve.
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While i was then unemployed i somehow herniated a disc in my lower back which did not heal and eventually ended up having surgery because i couldnt control my bladder (blocked nerve)ģ weeks later the sciatica came back and i had to wait 4 months for an mri and another 8 months for a second operation because the disc reherniated. I eventually quit when he refused to put my wage up to the agreed wage after 6 months. Then i worked for a motorcycle dealership who would swear at me (and others) infront of anybody and put me down telling me I was a stupid ****ing waste of space. It was pointless making a complaint because i was full time casual so she could bin me off without any hesitation. She would tell customers and other staff that i was a drug dealer, or that im on steroids etc. I then got a job in a fitness equipment store where i was.bullied by the manager. Carried on my job as a roof tiler until i got sick of sunburn and heat stroke.
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